The Ted Lasso Fandom's Push for Polyamory Just Makes Sense
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culture
May 2023
There's a moment in this week's episode of Apple TV+'s Ted Lasso, "La Locker Room Aux Folles," when player Jan Maas points out that if 10 percent of the population is gay, statistically there would be members of the Greyhounds club who identify as such. After everyone lets that sink in, gazes turn to Jamie Tartt, who then notices, touches his heart, and tenderly says "I'm flattered."
To the casual Ted Lasso fan, that kind reaction might seem like a mild gag about Jamie's love of hair products, but for the show's fervent and wide-ranging queer community, it feels like acknowledgement of what many have believed for years: that Jamie is one of the most deeply queer-coded characters on the show, even given Trent and Colin's quiet coming out parties this season.
Some have pushed Jamie's sexuality even further, placing him at the center of one of the fandom's most beloved ships: a Roy-Keeley-Jamie throuple. Sparking countless GIFs; specialized Discord channels; and hundreds of loving, emotional, and deeply saucy pieces of fanfiction on Tumblr and Archive of Our Own, the idea of the throuple was born of the show's investment in the emotional development and vulnerability of all three characters, who started off the show as sort of spiritual and romantic rivals but have grown to deeply care for and respect each other.
Christa, who goes by Mixtapestar on A03 and who, like nearly all the sources for this story, requested anonymity because they don't want their workplaces and families knowing about their participation in the sometimes NSFW fanfiction world, says that the way she sees it, the seeds for the throuple were laid during the first season's gala episode, where Jamie, Roy, and Keeley were all seated at the same table. As the show has gone on and the characters have grown and matured, she says, the argument for the throuple has become more about chemistry. "It's about a feeling that [the characters] all genuinely support each other in their own ways and that could lead to a relationship," Christa explains.
"So many people identify with Roy, Jamie, and Keeley because they really exemplify the show's thesis of being a work-in-progress," says Elizabeth, a Lasso fan who also requested anonymity. "The writers have already done the work to show that they all love and trust each other, and assuming Roy and Keeley make up, the three of them would just have to have, like, one conversation. And maybe kiss a little."
Though Lasso cocreator and star Brendan Hunt (Coach Beard) says he doesn't think connection should "automatically commute to throuple," he's thrilled people have become invested enough in the show to even have opinions about who should end up with who. "You just have to be happy that people give a shit," Hunt says.
Phil Dunster, who plays Jamie, mostly concurs, saying that as far as he's concerned, you can have intimacy with someone without a relationship becoming physical or sexual. As viewers, "we are so used to seeing intimate relationships go there, but it's quite nice that they don't necessarily in our show," he explains. "One of the things in season one and season two that I really liked with Ted and Rebecca's characters was that [the pair getting together was] never in the cards." (Two thousand-plus pieces of Ted and Rebecca fan fiction would argue otherwise.)
Elizabeth says she warmed to the idea of the Roy-Keeley-Jamie throuple during the coffee shop scene in the season one episode "The Hope That Kills You." "It seemed like the most obviously and narratively satisfying conclusion," she says, "but at the same time, I knew that the average viewer wouldn't see that, and I never imagined that the writers would go for it. Through engaging with the fandom, I found that there's a whole bunch of people who see what I see, and that's been really validating."
Another Lasso fan, Dahlia von Dohlenberg, found others' inclinations comforting as well. "It was very soothing and reassuring that I wasn't just making things up out of thin air," Dohlenberg says. "Because as a queer person I often feel like I'm projecting stuff onto characters because I want queer characters and their stories to be something that is visible, especially in mainstream media."
Though the Ted Lasso fandom is smaller than, say, the universe of online fans who obsess over Supernatural, it's fervent and mostly on board with the idea of the throuple. Gina, a Lasso fan and writer from Los Angeles, says, "Usually in a fandom, people are like 'no, Roy and Keeley forever,' or 'I only ship Roy and Jamie,' or like, 'I don't know if I like Jamie and Keeley.' There are people like that in this fandom, but the majority of fans ship the three of them together, and I've never seen it so consistent across a fandom."
Some of that could be attributed to the fact that a good portion of Ted Lasso's online fans are women and gender nonconforming individuals, many of whom say they're somewhere on the queer spectrum. A UK-based Tumblr user who goes by the name Lokiiied says that they think the show has spawned such a rabid queer fandom online in part because it's a safe space for those fans to talk about a show that's also loved in so many other communities.
"I know that there exists a more cishet audience for Ted Lasso, but I don't really interact with those people," Lokiiied says. "We have created a nice sort of bubble where it's safe to talk about our ships and our theories, and we don't really experience hate."
That doesn't mean that queer Lasso fans are content to just create their own works or to dine out on the tidbits of representation the show has doled out thus far. Advocates for the throuple believe that if the show were to do it, it would be an important step forward for the queer community.
"Most people would say that any queer representation [in media] that's good or accurate representation is always something to be celebrated," says Lokiiied, "but people have to realize that having more than one gay character on a show is not unrealistic." So often, they say, when TV shows want to dabble in polyamory, they introduce a hypermasculine and heteronormative man-woman-man V formation, where the love-torn woman bounces back and forth between two non-interacting men.
"We've seen that in film and TV over and over again, and it's so tiring," says Lokiiied. "It's boring and it's misogynistic, and there's another option that's much healthier and much more fun."
Still, very few TV shows have managed to pull polyamory off, with only Sense 8 doing it with any real success. That doesn't mean fans don't think it's time, though, or that Ted Lasso couldn't pull it off. If anything, the show's nimble handling of emotional subjects makes it especially capable--even if many fans think it's probably too late in the series' run for the writers to really give the idea the runway it deserves.
The fact that there are few, if any, healthy polyamorous relationships on TV is the reason Ted Lasso, of all shows, would be a prime spot for one. "Media representation can't fix bigotry, but it can help people consider things with a new perspective," says Elizabeth. "Seeing a healthy poly triad on a mainstream show like this, involving characters and relationships that people already love, could be eye-opening for people."
While throuple shippers acknowledge that a decent portion of the Ted Lasso audience would be upset if Roy, Jamie, and Keeley got together, they also see it as a natural extension of where the show has been going this whole time. "It's tough, because half of me won't be disappointed if they don't get together because I still love the show," says Gina. "But the other half of me thinks 'then what was all of the writing in every single episode of the show if not hints that the three of them would end up together?'"
