My Experience With Maternity Leave And Changes I Helped Make As A Partner

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Ed. note: This is the latest installment in a series of posts on motherhood in the legal profession, in partnership with our friends at MothersEsquire. Welcome Breanne Gordon to our pages. Click here if you'd like to donate to MothersEsquire.

When one of my clients found out that I was pregnant with my first child, he told the partner under whom I worked at that time that he should start looking for a new associate, since I inevitably would not return to work after having the baby. In the client's opinion, women should focus on motherhood, not their career.

While that misogynistic prediction never came to pass, having my first child while practicing as an associate attorney almost caused me to have a mental breakdown and leave the legal profession. When I miraculously came out on the other side, I was determined that no other mothers at our firm would experience the same struggles.

I was 29 when I had my son in 2018. At that time, I had been practicing for three years, and was still at the same firm I had been with since law school. Our firm is one of the oldest ones in Oklahoma. It is also small, and, as with many small but longstanding firms, was heavily male-weighted among its attorneys.

I felt lucky that my firm offered paid maternity leave (60% of salary for six weeks) even though it legally was not required to do so under the FMLA due to its size. I could have requested a longer leave, but anything over six weeks would be unpaid. The partners were supportive of my pregnancy although I could sense some frustration about having to cover my workload for six weeks.

Following the birth of my son, a variety of factors contributed to my career/mental health crisis.

I quickly realized that the promise that women could "have it all" was not, in fact, a possibility in our society. Every morning was an anxiety-ridden battle while I waited to see if the nanny would show up. Later, once I got over my fears and enrolled my son in daycare, I felt sick whenever I saw an incoming call from the daycare director, inevitably informing me that my son was sick and could not return for at least 48 hours.

I found breastfeeding difficult, so pumping and the ridiculous pressure I put on myself to produce left me crying in my locked office, hooked up to a machine with bleeding nipples. On one occasion, I went with a partner to a hearing in another county, which had been unexpectedly postponed from morning to afternoon. I ended up manually pumping in his car to relieve the pressure while covering myself with a suit blazer.

Right when I was on the brink of throwing in the towel, things began to slowly get easier. My son's immune system improved, resulting in fewer sick days. I finished breastfeeding and felt like I got my body back. My husband adjusted to fatherhood and was a more reliable partner (the fact that he was afforded an adjustment period while I was not is another conversation entirely). I became more productive during the workday to allow myself more work-free time in the evenings and on weekends.

Then I was elevated to partner at my firm in January 2020. When I had my second son in July 2020, it was an entirely different experience. For one, I received my full compensation during the six weeks I took off. I did return after six weeks, but I was actually ready to do so this time around. I had reliable daycare in place, and I mentally prepared myself for the first few months of illnesses. I had a consistent babysitter that I could utilize when needed, who quickly became family. I breastfed for nine months, but supplemented with formula and enjoyed a hands-free pump given to me by a friend. In 2021, my husband joined my firm as a partner, allowing him to cut out an almost two-hour commute and sharing the work-hour childcare burdens with me.

I saw my appointment as managing partner of the firm as a prime opportunity to review our maternity leave policy. We made several important changes that have positively impacted our firm.

First, recognizing the child-care crisis in America leaving families bereft of options for available care, we allowed two of our paralegals to bring their newborns to the office for approximately one month while they each waited for daycare spots to open. While some partners were nervous about this, it turned out to be a great experience. The paralegals did not have to choose between their children and their careers. It allowed them to nurse on demand at the early stages, which was very important to them. Everyone in the office loved taking breaks to hold and cuddle the babies. It allowed the mothers to have more time with their newborns, without losing out on pay or causing the firm to overload its other staff with coverage responsibilities. It also allowed the firm to cultivate and retain its critical team members because they had confidence that the firm supported them. I know this is not feasible for all law offices. However, it worked for us, and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Additionally, we now allow employees to stack their accrued PTO with their maternity leave, so they can receive their full salary amount during their leave. Eventually, as the firm grows, I hope it will be able to pay full salary for maternity leave without this stacking.

While the firm has always purchased a baby shower gift for anyone in the office who is expecting, we now throw a baby shower lunch that celebrates the impending birth and creates a positive feeling regarding pregnancy and maternity leave, rather than allowing resentment to fester and cause anxiety for the parent.

When I returned from my first maternity leave, I initially continued to work for that awful client who had put so many doubts in my head about motherhood and my career. Once my mental health improved, I informed the partner I would no longer work for that client (who remains a client of the firm). He understood without question and supported me fully. Now, almost five years later, I breeze past that client whenever I see him in our lobby with a polite smile and nod, as I confidently enter the conference room to meet with my kind, supportive, appreciative clients, before ending my day and returning home to my family to enjoy my perfect version of motherhood.

Breanne Gordon received her undergraduate degree from Texas Christian University and her Juris Doctorate from the University of Oklahoma College of Law, where she was a member of Pi Alpha Delta Law Fraternity, the Energy Resources Law Society, and the Organization for the Advancement of Women in the Law. Breanne's practice is focused on estate planning, complex banking law, and commercial litigation. She is licensed to practice law before all Oklahoma State Courts and in the United States District Court for the Western and Eastern Districts of Oklahoma. Breanne is a member of the Pottawatomie County Bar Association and the Oklahoma Bar Association. She volunteers her time with Legacy Parenting Center and the outreach committee of her church. Breanne lives in Shawnee with her husband, Randy Gordon, who is an attorney in Oklahoma City, and their sons, Everett and Griffin.