Musk Will Pay Your Legal Fees If You Liked Tweets Joking About Cops Killing A Man Over Cigarettes

Photographer: Nathan Laine/Bloomberg via Getty Images

Elon Musk has a punchable face. This is factual; Social Network inspiration Mark Zuckerberg will presumably be the one doing the punching if Musk's mommy doesn't step in to stop the fight. Again. Musk is clever when it comes to being held accountable to his words -- he may be the one to call it off much to Mark's chagrin. Fret not, Musk has announced an alternative to trial by combat: trial by trial. Forever a representative of the downtrodden, King Twit took to his edgy rebranded site X to pledge money to the people that need it most: bigots.

If you were unfairly treated by your employer due to posting or liking something on this platform, we will fund your legal bill.

No limit.

Please let us know.

-- Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 6, 2023

Strangely enough, this out of the blue announcement happened to come shortly after a NASCAR driver was treated to the ejecto-seat after liking a meme making fun of a man who was killed in broad daylight by a knee to the neck.

NASCAR driver Noah Gragson has been indefinitely suspended after liking the following George Floyd "meme" on instagram pic.twitter.com/JtkhmMVCci

-- chris evans (@notcapnamerica) August 7, 2023

As you would expect, all manner of deplorables are coming forth with their sob stories about how they need to be vindicated.

???? pic.twitter.com/YYlOtZNn4l

-- Kelly (@kellyinvegas) August 7, 2023

She used the word fag and stuff. It wasn't even that bad and it was years and years ago. Like someone really dug into her history. Pretty ridiculous

-- John Driver (@DriverESPN) August 7, 2023

The thread is full of these "woe is me" types who have been wronged by their employers after doing small actions like advocating for genocide:

Maybe, just maybe, because your ideology is genocidal. pic.twitter.com/CSokycGnTh

-- GoldFish (@ATrueGoldenFish) August 7, 2023

It seems like each day Elon finds new reasons to justify the use of this clip:

Interestingly enough, jury is out on if his censorship scholarship will apply to adverse parties. You don't have to go all that far back to find times where Elon was the employer that fired employees over their tweets:

Sir can you please look into this case https://t.co/mRezx0WOA1 pic.twitter.com/EZPWyhHAhU

-- Berny Belvedere (@bernybelvedere) August 6, 2023

The fine print of his generosity is likely that he will only be covering the legal fees of parties negatively impacted by the "Woke Mind Virus":

Elon Musk on the "Woke Mind Virus" | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO) https://t.co/cpNznPOpMu prin @YouTube?

-- Violeta Criscov (@VioletaCri85386) August 7, 2023

So, if you're an anti-vaxxer, racist or got canned calling for the genocide of gay kids, you know who to call to cover your legal fees:

pic.twitter.com/ViRgDYxeto

-- Gator | Dentist (@BowTiedGatorDDS) August 6, 2023

Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord(TM) in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s. He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at cwilliams@abovethelaw.com and by tweet at @WritesForRent.