Giuiliani And His Spox Vie To Out-Crazy Each Other In Dueling TV Hits

(Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

Fresh off his star turn in the most recent Trump indictment, Rudy Giuliani is ready to throw down with the vice president who foiled his plans to overturn the results of the 2020 election.

Mike Pence rebuked his former running mate and current electoral rival, tweeting that "Today's indictment serves as an important reminder: anyone who puts himself over the Constitution should never be President of the United States."

He also had some choice words for the former president's "crackpot lawyers."

President Trump and his gaggle of crackpot lawyers asked me to reject electoral votes and chaos would have ensued. To keep faith with the oath that I made to the American people and to Almighty God, I did my duty that day. pic.twitter.com/FktUIODXCF

-- Mike Pence (@Mike_Pence) August 2, 2023

Apparently Giuliani did not take kindly to being accused of asking Pence to break faith with America and Jesus. So naturally he took to Newsmax, where he shared his frustration that a bumpkin like Pence would dare to criticize a former mayor of New York.

Giuliani doesn't seem happy with the comments from Pence about crackpot lawyers. He describes Pence as weak being led around by a leash and his wife barely allowing him to use the bathroom by himself pic.twitter.com/BFucSj0jJE

-- Acyn (@Acyn) August 4, 2023

"I'm a real trial lawyer," Rudy insisted to host Eric Bolling, omitting to mention that his latest courtroom foray was somewhat less than successful.

"I don't think he's ever been in a courtroom, and he went to a law school nobody even knows," he scoffed about Pence, who received his JD in 1986 from Indiana University.

Then Rudy accused Pence of the grave sin of respecting his wife.

"I always worried about him following Trump because I could see him with his wife having something around his neck every night," he babbled. "She lets him go to the bathroom by himself, that's it, but imagine that skunk doing what he did today!"

Perhaps hoping to stage a distraction from his boss's rant, Rudy's spokesweirdo went on CNN to shout inanities at host Laura Coates.

Ted Goodman started out questioning if his boss really was unindicted Co-Conspirator 1, "an attorney who was willing to spread knowingly false claims and pursue strategies that the Defendant's 2020 re-election campaign attorneys would not" and who called for "trial by combat" on the Ellipse on January 6.

"When I read this thing, it reads like some sort of fiction novel. And I can tell you by talking with the mayor, the facts don't align," he blustered, adding that millions of Americans still believe that the 2020 election was stolen.

Coates pointed out that Giuliani himself recently "admitted" that his 2020 election fraud claims about Georgia poll workers Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss, whom the lawyer accused of counting thousands of fake ballots, were not true.

"He didn't admit to anything of the sort!" shouted Goodman.

In fact, Giuliani signed a stipulation in their defamation suit conceding that "to the extent the [allegedly defamatory] statements were statements of fact and otherwise actionable, such actionable factual statements were false." Although he did try to spin it as an attempt to "avoid unnecessary expenses in litigating what he believes to be unnecessary disputes" and preserved his right to assert "constitutional" defenses.

"He did not insist a single thing," Goodman insisted. "What he did was make a legal maneuver in order to get to a point in the case that allows for a motion to dismiss. To suggest anything else is disingenuous!"

"That would be interesting, from a judge's perspective, to note a 'legal maneuver' as opposed to a statement that they've made on the record," Coates countered calmly, pointing out that Giuliani is "no longer a barred attorney based on his conduct."

"That's not true!" Goodman screamed again. "I don't believe that's true. Those hearings are ongoing. Those bar hearings are ongoing."

Which is true, as far as it goes. But it's still ... not great.

Pressed if his boss would ever accept a plea deal, Goodman demurred, but thanked the host for the chance to offer "our perspective on what's happening here in this just ridiculous assault on the First Amendment."

No doubt Special Counsel Jack Smith will run, not walk to put such a fine specimen as Rudy Giuliani on the witness stand. Right after Sidney Powell ...

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore where she writes about law and politics and appears on the Opening Arguments podcast.